in Letters

Dear ex best friend,

Hey, I hope you are doing good, I am doing okay. Um well I never imagined this before that there will be a day when I will have to calm my feels by jotting it down on a piece of paper instead of texting you.
Last few months of my life were pretty sad, but to be honest I am really glad for everything that happened. I know I should not say this but I was actually living a life full of illusions. Though I can honestly say, that the friendship we had was real to me. I cherished it for the longest time. Even now, there are times when I hear a song or read something online and it reminds me of you. There are times when I miss you immensely, but can’t really do anything about it. I occasionally find screenshots of our old texts and conversations and I can’t help but laugh at all of the stupid things we said.

I know we let our anger and disappointment ruin our friendship. Or may be I was simply too flawed to be accepted. But dear ex best friend I was waiting for you to talk about it or at least make an effort to mend our ties. I waited for days.
Do you know what stings the most, that you so easily let go of me.
I still wonder why it happened this way. Maybe I’ve complained too much about the petty stuff. Maybe I developed principles you didn’t approve of. But whatever that may be is, I really feel sad about it because I’ve lost someone who was really close to my heart. I’d be lying if I say, “I will always love you” because at some point you stop loving people who hurt you. And I wish I could say “We can still be friends!” but this isn’t that kind of break-up.
Anyway, I seriously do hope all is well. I hope all of your dreams come true and you never know pain or heartache.

~A.

Dear ex best friend