in Letters

Dear known stranger

Do you ever just get waves of missing someone? Like you stay okay the whole day but then all of a sudden your heart hurts.

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Dear known stranger,

I guess it’s time for me to admit that college is hard or, at least, time consuming. I hardly get time to write and it makes me miss the memories and you.
Well you know I remember how in my childhood I was so stubborn to not let mommy take away from me my favourite blanket, and I remember how mommy kept telling me that one day I will have to adjust without it. I wish she would have told me this for humans as well. Today when I sleep without my favourite blanket, with cloths on just to protect myself, I miss your warm hugs and this slow music in my room reminds me of the music of your heart. But by now my fingers have forgotten your touch, for these fingers now hold a half smoked cigarette and a glass of whiskey, an escape you see. May be that’s why these days I find my lips blue, bluer than the sky, bluer than the ocean, bluer than the ink on my paper. I find myself blue, so much that someday I might turn into a smurf.
Stranger, I am not sad, or may be, but this is a different kind of sadness. The one that comes out as tears and collects on your eyelash and smudge your kohl but dare not fallout. The one where you want to scream so hard that you may as well damage your vocal chords but nothing comes out. The one where you have a constant excuse of being tired without unreasonable explanations. The one that forces you to laugh out loud.
You understand me, right?

– Yours truly.