My journey towards self love

//Self love is an ocean and your heart is a vessel. Make it full, and any excess will spill over into the lives of people you hold dear.//

My journey towards self love.

Body shaming
Depression
Emotional eating
Illness

A cycle that is never-ending

Body shaming
Depression
Emotional eating
Illness

A cycle that demands self-love.

When I was fifteen years old,
Someone in school labeled me as “too skinny”
I came back from school
Stood in front of the mirror,
And tried to stretch my body at it’s utmost capacity
In a hope that it will expand someday.

Here’s to that fifteen years old,
You, love, are an ocean that doesn’t stand in arrogance where there is land,
You are an ocean that waves in rhythm with the music of the earth.
You, love, are an ocean that is enough in itself.

When I was sixteen years old,
My first boyfriend called me “too introvert to handle”
I came back from school
Stood in front of the mirror,
And tried to roar at my loudest,
In a hope to be a hurricane someday.

Here’s to that sixteen years old,
You don’t have to be a hurricane, you are a soft breeze that makes home of all the seasons,
You are a soft breeze that tickles the refugee on her way back to camp.
You are a soft breeze that makes trees happy and healthy.
You, love, are a soft breeze that is enough in itself.

When I was seventeen,
A group of “cool” girls called me a flat chest
And that if I was really a girl
Was a question they hit me with and laughed
That day I came back,
Stood in front of the mirror,
Trying to search for someone inside me,
Someone whom I can call home,

I didn’t tell anyone How I forgot to go home!
How I couldn’t know the directions!
How I don’t know where I left the key!
How I desperately need to find it!

And the world came crashing down, by the time I was 18
But somehow, a cup of coffee on a night full of stars
Made me look at the books, I had read and finished
The poems I wrote, and the paintings I centered my world around
I smiled and went to the mirror once again
“I am the girl who can do this
And a lot more”

My mirror never truly meant
What it had made me see.
The picture I was trying to see,
Was the reflection of the society.

It’s easy to become ashamed of our “less-than-perfect” bodies,
especially when the world around us is bombarding us with
the latest diets,
exercise plans,
the fastest way to a bikini body.
It’s easier to accept the flaws we never had
A unibrow somewhere died a silent death
It’s difficult to think of not being so talkative by teenage
Because how else would you figure your way out to the cool group
It’s not the poems you write but the kind of shoes you wear
Its not the paintings you derive, but the freckles on your cheeks
And double chin that determine your intellect
It’s too revealing to suit you
Or too covered up to be cool
How could you choose to wear a crop top
If you weigh above 74 ?
Don’t be too loud, hush hush
Always, right or wrong
Girls are never the ones to speak their minds out loud
And thus came more and more reasons
I withdrew from this world
And realised how many died
A death they didn’t deserve

Here’s to everyone in this room,
You are an ocean,
A soft breeze,
A home,
A night full of stars
A poem
A book
A painting
A Universe.

You are a lot to decipher
And you don’t need to be
Like what you’re “supposed” to be

I pray that you love your body just a little bit more today than you did yesterday. My

Self love

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